Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression & hilarity on the side
He bounded to the altar like a ball of positive energy in the land of Jesus. “Welcome!” he exclaimed, and then proceeded to pour out a beautiful PowerPoint laced with ambition and enthusiasm for our children’s program as the lights shone on his wrinkle-free face. Having begrudgingly left my seat at the back of the […]
The hole was right there, in the spot where any sudden move would trigger a glimpse of deepest inner thigh or maybe a crotch flash of undies du jour. Even a lady of low fashion standards like me couldn’t bring myself to wear them, so I stashed the accidentally x-rated jeans in a bottom drawer […]
Why, hello, holiday season. Here you ARE, again, in your blinding lights and screamy ads about buying stuff and random elves sprouting all over the place. Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s a little much for those of us who find ourselves on the struggle bus this time of year. Also – I […]
Driving to the doctor’s office the other day, I saw it – our old home away from home. The toy park. Our once beloved, now forgotten spot that my daughter and I visited at least once a week for years, whiling away hours pushing plastic lawn mowers, ducking in and out of playhouses and going […]
Babies have the best propaganda machine in the world. Look at this: Who could resist this stuff? Who could resist THIS? Meet Willow! She is the darling baby of my wonderful friends. Also, she’s a star recruit on the baby propaganda squad. Every time I see this kid, she’s either sleeping angelically or making feather-soft […]
Of course it was a man without children who said it. “You just need to get up a few minutes earlier. Then you’d be here on time.” He said this, to chronically-running-behind-to-this-entirely-optional-activity me, the way you might tell someone the sky is blue or that they need oxygen to breathe. Poof! Simple solution. Except when […]
It’s a life choice that sneaks up on you, a strand at a time. Maybe it starts as a novelty – your first gray hair! Probably, you comb it back and forget about it. Probably, that works for years. You’re the only one who notices it, after all. Until you’re not. While my kiddo was […]
Being a kid is both comforting and maddening because it’s all so pre-plotted for you. Milestone to milestone, grade to grade, many of us are more or less traveling the same path as everyone we know, shepherded by grown-ups. The twenties? Mon Dieu! You’re Audrey in Breakfast at Tiffany’s! Actually, hopefully, you’re not, but you […]
A VHS recording of my husband on The Price is Right. A 12-year-old unopened jar of apple butter. Pictures, pictures, pictures of me as a smiling 6 year old, a smirking 13 year old and with my arms wrapped around my friends in high school. They were all there waiting for me, in the storage […]