Perfectionists don’t need coping skills because making everything absolutely spotless is our mission in life. If we just focus all our energy on that, what could possibly go wrong?

Right. I believe you’ve all met 2020. No wonder we’re all nervous getting to know 2021, making its intro, like New Years always do, in the darkest blah-est time of the year. 

Of course there is a bright star on the horizon, aka THE VACCINE, thank you science and thank you Jesus. But like so many beautiful rays of hope, we have to wait for this one. And while I don’t want to distress anyone who’s been doing a really exceptional job hiding under a rock, between the pandemic and the economy and the societal ills laid bare by this whole mess, things are not great right now. Coping skills = must have.

Now, back when I went on Mommy’s Vacation, the masseuse at the spa noted that one of my weaknesses was limited coping skills. And by “masseuse at the spa”, of course I mean “doctor at the psychiatric ward”.

Once my brain chilled out and I was back in the world, I made up a coping trick that helps me navigate through dark days. And this winter, while so many of us are hovering somewhere in the depression and anxiety zone, it’s a coping trick that you might find useful too. 

Play Chutes and Ladders. 

I’m not talking about the 80’s era board game, although if that’s your thing by all means bust it out. I’m talking about breaking down your day into individual actions and taking it one action, or one rung, at a time. Instead of thinking about getting out of bed and tackling the laundry list of everything, you can think about a waking up ladder instead:

Up the first ladder? Look at you. Take a deep breath, feel the pride and move on to the next.

Chutes are no big deal. You can make the slopes as gentle as you need them. 

You have set the stage for the day, my friend. Take a moment to bask in that accomplishment, and keep on rolling. 

Picture a game board in your head that’s exactly as you need it to be. Maybe you want to do a chain of little activities winding their way across your day. Maybe you want to keep it basic, along the lines of, “take care of self”, “take care of child” and “do work”. And if there’s something you’re struggling with – can it come off the board? Can you modify it, or recruit another player to help you? 

No matter what your imaginary or tangible board looks like, please give yourself some grace and some reward. Maybe you want to mix games and give yourself some lifeline reach-outs each day to friends or family. I feel a gleeful little joy at the end of the day when the adulting is done and I can let my brain wander for an hour or so before bedtime. This usually looks like “lying on the couch reading” but it feels like the mental equivalent of lying on a tropical beach while waves crash in the background. It’s my reward. And rewards, especially now, are so important. 

Because are doing it. We are making it through each day, y’all. Look how fabulously amazingly bloody resilient we are. 

Cheers to us, and to finding relief, peace and joy in 2021. 

Bonus content: kids can play, too.

Photo credits: apocalypse by Pete Linforth for Pixabay.