We hopped on a plane to go see my grandma ice skate in the desert. How many kids get to write that sentence? I got to blow off first grade for a week and fly to Reno, Nevada, with my mom and toddler brother to see my grandma and my aunt compete in the National Synchronized Skating Championships. I remember being amazed to see cactuses next to the runway and thrilled by the bar surrounded by floor to ceiling mirrors in our hotel suite (Reno in the eighties, baby). I somehow didn’t realize the team had won until a celebration pillow embroidered by my grandma showed up at our house weeks later. 

This was life with my grandma, she who would fly through the yard to hug us when we arrived at her place in New Hampshire and bounce out of the rental car when she visited us at our house every spring. On the last day of one visit, she told me goodbye in the morning only to materialize in the audience later that day at my honor society induction. We never lived close, but we were close, popping in and out of each others’ lives. It’s what we did, what we still do. 

And this summer, it was time to pop up to New Hampshire for a very special occasion – her 100th birthday. (Yep, you read that right!)

I could give you my grandma by the facts. Mother of four, grandmother of ten, great-grandmother of five. Wife, always, of one, my grandpa Ben. The apple of her father’s eye. The pre-med student turned skating judge and office administrator. But really, wouldn’t you rather hear my grandma’s own words than hear me recite facts about her?

What in your life has brought you the most joy?

The family experience. You choose a guy that you feel you belong with but the children are the reward and their mischievous things are sometimes as rewarding as their achievements.

Speaking of family….

I learned early on that if I really wanted something, I could get it from my father. He was a doctor in downtown Cleveland. I would meet him for lunch at Halle’s and the two of us would talk. Medicine made huge strides in my lifetime, and because I was brought up in a doctor’s family, I think it has a huge effect on who I am today.

My father was ahead of his time when it came to women’s rights. When they were going to buy a bigger house because my grandmother was moving in with us, he made sure I came along to look at houses, learned about mortgages, and all that. That wasn’t done in those days – girls weren’t included in financial matters. But from 5th or 6th grade on, I was. 

My mother trained me in a Victorian way to be a good wife and housekeeper and bring up children. She taught me sewing, and all the tools I needed to be a very good hostess and wife, which was par for the period.

What about life has surprised you the most?

Oh my. I don’t know that there’s any one thing. When I was dating Ben, my father said no matter what I had to finish college. Well, World War II comes along, and your grandpa graduated & enlisted. I was a pre-med major, carrying 21 and 22 hours with labs, and I was absolutely determined I was going to get out and show my parents this is the way or else. I achieved that and went home. They had announced my engagement, but I thought we’d have to wait till after the war to get married. Grandpa wrote my dad a letter that I never saw. My mother got mail. I saw her take the letter, then my father read letter, turned around and said “We’re going to Texas”, where your grandpa was stationed.

If you could go back and give your younger self a message, what would it be?

My mother was a Victorian. She was all for women’s rights, but very strongly instilled a lot in me. I was very aware the boys, my brothers, were permitted to do things I wasn’t. I resented it and became more determined to show her I’d do what I wanted to do. She knocked out of me the confidence in myself, and in later life it did not serve me well. I didn’t stand up for myself.  

I’ve gained confidence in certain things. I will not take front and center. I was told point blank by my mother that ladies are never to push themselves forward. 

What keeps you going during the challenging times?

In retirement, I missed the feeling of accomplishment & being worth something. When Covid came along….I’m stubborn enough, I thought, you’ve got a lot of fabric here and you like to create things. See what you can do to feel like you’re accomplishing something. I find it interesting to see where one thing leads to another. 

What wisdom can you share?

Do I have any wisdom? Wherever I go, I’m inclined to take a backseat, inclined to see what people are doing & how they’re doing it. Talk is cheap and the day is long. You can end with that!