Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression & hilarity on the side
The competition moms were going full force behind me. “LET’S GOOOOO, MAISY!!!….oh noooo. She just missed an AA time.” “She’ll get it next time. She looks so strong,” reassured the mom next to her. Next heat it was her turn. “COME ON, JACKIE, COME ON!!!….argh. GOOD RACE HONEY. Darn it. That was a second slower […]
The moment I walked through the junior high doors, the baddies would pounce on me like a pack of jackals. “Buy some weed, kid!” they would sneer, shoving me back and forth like a hairbow-wearing sack of potatoes. If things got really bad, maybe they’d try to hold me down and force something….up my nose? […]
I always thought my grandma stopped ice skating when she hit 70. Wrong! “I’ve raised four children and now I want to do what I want to do,” she told me matter of factly. What she wanted to do, in her seventies, eighties and nineties, was skate on the open-air rink near her house. So […]
The signs are all a lie, according to my husband. “Shit for sale!” he announces every spring, gesturing darkly to the hand-lettered signs. “Not enough crap of your own? Come buy ours!” When we drive by he adopts the persona of a soldier skirting hostile territory – eyes fixed straight ahead, not a break in […]
Can’t this over-40 thing be beautiful, graceful and easy? Spoiler not spoiler….no. I can’t prettify life. But! I can prettify my house! Right?
Here’s the thing we’re not supposed to say in my family – one of our own can get irrationally angry over just about anything. We’ll call him “Schmad”. This doesn’t happen every day – in fact, most days it doesn’t happen. But that’s the rub of it – you never can tell when Schmad is […]
We hopped on a plane to go see my grandma ice skate in the desert. How many kids get to write that sentence? I got to blow off first grade for a week and fly to Reno, Nevada, with my mom and toddler brother to see my grandma and my aunt compete in the National […]
It’s now t minus one week till I start my new gig. By the time I post this, I’ll have started. I’ve now been off work so long, almost a month (Europeans I hear you laughing) that I’m low-level anxious about going back. How am I going to get life stuff done? (More sloppily.) Will […]
I am doing the thing adults don’t do. At least, the thing working-age, bill-paying adults don’t do in American society. I’m taking a month off. A sabbatical, if you will. I keep waiting for someone to scream, “Spoiled! Slacker! Must be nice!” at me. So far, no one has, at least not where I can […]
I was born into a gig and I have to get away from it. And by “gig”, I mean “life defining label”. I need to stop being the mayor’s daughter already. People I met as an adult – sur-PRISE! People I grew up with – how weird is it that not everybody in my little […]